Thursday, December 30, 2010

Gift: 2010 Was Too Generous

This blog is part of a series of posts that chronicle my participation in Reverb 10. Reverb 10 is an online event that encourages its participants to reflect on the past year and gear up for what's to come in the next. A prompt is given each day to fuel some personal reflection. Although I'm a little late on starting the challenge, I'm still looking forward to 18 days of honesty, acceptance, and growth.

December 30 – Gift

Prompt: Gift. This month, gifts and gift-giving can seem inescapable. What’s the most memorable gift, tangible or emotional, you received this year?

(Author: Holly Root)

This reflection requires me to rewind not just to the whole of 2010, but to 2009 as well.

2009 was not the greatest year for me. In my school life, I was highly unfocused. In my personal life, I was not succeeding at maintaining or developing friendships. In my romantic life, I spent six months in a relationship that had been declining for far too long and another six months in trysts that only left me feeling used, hurt, and in case, verbally abused. I walked alone in 2009.

Thankfully, I cannot say the same for 2010. I received the gifts of people, love, support, and encouragement.

Academically, I found purpose. Joining the Forensics team provided me with an incentive to stay in community college for just a little bit. It led to two changes in focus-- Communications and then leaving school behind to grow up and write. My participation in this event gave me stronger sense of self-esteem, self-worth, and just plain old self.

Personally, I made connections with my Forensics teammates that are unparalleled. My New Orleans roommates became like sisters to me. Heidi and I communicate with facial expressions alone. It is a strange feeling for me to know that I always have 10-12 people that I can turn to in a jam. My Forensics Family get to see glimpses of the "real me" every now and then which is saying a lot. They have been so supportive of me in all my decisions and they give me praise and encouragement every single day. I cannot thank them enough.

Romantically, 2010 was an eye-opener. I found a wonderful partner who loves, supports, and encourages me unconditionally. Justin allows me to be myself (silly, moody, brainy, talkative, opinionated, whatever version of me shows up that day) without ever judging me. He sticks by me with every decision I make and with every turn my life takes. I finally learned that it is possible to be in a relationship where one doesn't have to suppress certain aspects about themselves. The term "partner" makes sense to me because in 2010, I got one.

Looking back, I think I'm going to miss 2010. It was a big year for growth and empowerment. Of course, 2010 also showed me my capacity for growth and change, so just imagine what 2011 can give me if I let it.

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