It's about 6:00 on a Sunday night, which is when I usually start settling down to recap my week. I'm usually scrolling down Facebook and Twitter, making sure I don't miss anything, and I'm uploading the photos I took over the course of the week. But not tonight.
I'm going to be honest. I did nothing this week. Well, that's not entirely true. I went to class. I worked. I saw Justin (the high point of the week, without question). But none of it felt supremely special of recapping. Even my anniversary dinner was lackluster. (Although, that has since been attributed to the fact that our special restaurant changed chefs and was not indicative of the moods/feelings of the happy anniversary couple.)
I'm just going to stop beating around the bush and 'fess up to you guys. I'm bummed out. I am Seasonal-Affective-Disorder-stay-in-my-jammies-and-devour-all-the-ice-cream-in-the-free-world-depressed. It's like this every winter. The short days and the grey Chicago skies throw me into a serious rut. A rut that prevents me from completing tasks (like blog posts). A rut that makes enjoying the simple things almost impossible. A rut that makes the walk from my front door to my car at the end of the driveway seem like an overnight trek across Planet Hoth. I am literally forcing myself to go through the motions of every day, because I know that laying in bed all day is in no way going to help my situation. I think I've gotten to a point where ignoring it just won't work anymore. I'm 24 years old. I need to be more proactive about the my winter moods. This winter has sucked. I have cried too much and wasted too much time in my pajamas doing nothing but feeling like a crabby bitch.
This is not a cry for help. I am not "at risk." I'm not looking for sympathy or concern. I'm just a typical woman with the Wintertime Blues, trying to push her way through her rut (as well as trying to explain why it might seem like I'm not really doing anything on this site).
So bear with me, friends, as we all chug along through what seems to be a particularly lame winter. (Chicago has a Blizzard Watch to look forward to this week. Hear that silence? Yeah, that's the sound of people not celebrating.) I can't promise that this is the moment where I turn it all around, where sharing my personal blues transforms me into a shiny happy blogging machine. That would be way too easy (and boring). What I can say is that I'm really trying to help myself.
And I want you guys to all try to help yourselves, as well. I know I'm not the only one who feels more than a little sluggish during the winter months. What do you do to abate the doom and the gloom?
P.S. There is no photo of the week. Weetzie Dog was gone all week while we watched my sister's dog, so I was too bummed out to take any photos of anything while my model was away.
P.P.S. I feel a little lame for lumping time spent with Justin into a week of crap. My time with Justin really was special and worthy of recapping and remembering. Dinner at our special place was great, even if the food was not satisfying. We had our fancy drinks, each other, a strangers to judge. We also now have Gilmore Girls, which promises to be a great journey.
P.P.P.S Hey, look at that! I finished a post. :-)