Friday, October 1, 2010

You are loved.

The recent suicide of Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi has gotten under my skin, as I'm sure is the case with many individuals.  I've been trying to figure out how to blog about this all day and there's just so much about this incident that has me riled up.  Every facet of this news story is absolutely heartbreaking, but what saddens me the most is that a young man was driven to take his own life.

I didn't know Tyler, but there is a part of me that wishes I could have given him a message.  It is the message that I wish I could give to every human being who feels themselves teetering towards suicidal ideations.

I want everyone to know that other people can be mean.  Seriously, people suck, but I like to believe that they don't intend to be.  Everyone has difficult things in their lives and everyone deals with these things in different ways.  I may not be a bully, but I can admit to being a snippy, sarcastic, mean bitch when I have too much on my mind.  I honestly believe that bullies are not bad people, just people in pain.  Being the target of girl-bullying as a child, I know that it is a painful and confusing ordeal to go through.  As I got older, I encouraged myself to show sympathy for the bully, wondering what in their life made them act that way.  I'll be honest, it doesn't make the situation sting any less, but it can be helpful to remember that being bullied probably has very little to do with you and everything to do with the bully.

I want everyone to know that even the most seemingly unbearable parts of life are worth living.  It is imperative that we look at our difficulties in life and use them to make us stronger.  I know that sometimes it can feel like life just keeps piling on more and more garbage, but we must march forward.  We must remember that each day is a new chance to prove to whatever it is that's trying to keep us down that we won't be broken so easily.  You know that feeling you get when you accomplish something totally cool like beating a difficult video game or completing a truly epic puzzle (or whatever task-related hobby you indulge in)?  Take a minute to really think about that feeling and hold on to it.  Now imagine that you're getting that feeling because you survived.  It really is worth it, I promise.

Above all, I want everyone to know that they are loved.  I know that sometimes we can feel like we are alone, that no one has our back or even that no one cares.  I promise you that you are wrong.  Trust me when I say that if something happened to you and you were no longer on this Earth, you will be missed.  You cannot imagine the impact that your absence will have on other people.  This is something I did not learn until I lost two friends to suicide.  I had never been terribly close to them; they were far closer to my sister.  I think about them every day and they probably never could have imagined that I would be heartbroken by their deaths.  If I could only give one nugget of love & wisdom for the rest of my life, it would be that each and every person in the world is loved and will someday be missed.

Love your self, love your life.


  1. This was really nice, Kaitlin. Well put. My motto is taken from a 311 song, "Stay positive and love your life". It holds a very similar sentiment to your final line.

  2. Beautiful Kaitlin.